Monday, March 30, 2015
So what if I live in a jungle or a home?
Being as Gift
,
CTejeda
,
Family
,
Love
,
NFP
,
Parenting
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| "Our treehut in the jungle" by Christian Haugen is licensed under C.C. by 2.0 |
My last
post referred to some anecdotes of life that prove the point that the world
can seem to be an inhospitable jungle and very much not the home that
Christianity claims it to be. This post
by my friend Rachel Coleman is also helpful in describing the gift nature of
creation.
So in this post I would like to unpack some implications for
marriage and family life given the fact that the world is ultimately a good
gift given to us, not some testing ground for cleverness and survival instincts
a la Tunnel in the Sky,
Ender’s Game, Hunger Games
or Maze Runner.
1) If the
world—and life in it—is a good gift given by a loving Father then I don’t have
to construct my own happiness in a relationship. Instead I can receive it and cooperate with a
natural order already inscribed in everything around me.
·
For instance: my wife’s fertility isn’t a
burdensome killjoy that I must have her medicate away or always walled off from
me. Rather, I can learn the cycles
present within her femininity and collaborate with them for the conception or
postponement of a baby and in so doing I will be called outside of my own
boyish demands and discover happiness stemming from virtuous (although
strenuous) selflessness (who wants to be married to a tantrum throwing boy when
he can’t have what he wants? Who wants
to be a 20/30/40/etc. something year old boy?).
2) I can
stay put and enjoy the adventure of domesticity.
·
You should really check out two essays by G. K.
Chesterton entitled Homesick at Home
and The Wildness of Domesticity (it’s
in the compilation book Brave New Family). Until you do however, suffice it to say that
rather than chasing a promotion, bigger bank statements, more toys and gadgets,
clothes, or square footage, try pursuing and “earning” your spouse’s affection
like you did when you first dated. How
about pursuing your spouse by putting on perfume/cologne just because you’re
both home for dinner on Tuesday night?
What if you spent more time with your children than your smartphone,
coworkers or lawnmower? What if your
home didn’t have a blue glow and background noise from breakfast to Jimmy
Fallon?
3) I won’t
need to compete with others to get ahead.
·
I can focus my energies on diligently applying
myself to serving the authentic needs of those who depend on me. If I run a business, then my employees and
customers get my sincerely best efforts.
If I am an employee, then my supervisor, coworkers and customers should
all intuitively sense that I’m not truncating my performance on Monday morning
or Friday afternoon. When I am at home
my spouse and children have 100% access to me.
4) I won’t
need to necessarily curtail my openness to children in order to “survive” or be
“happy”. [See this post
about what’s happening in Italy or read this book
or watch these documentaries]
·
This is really the kicker that strikes me as the
most important ramification regarding whether or not we perceive the world as a
home or a jungle. Who wants to bring a
baby into a dangerous unknown? No
one. Who can’t help but want to fill up
empty bedrooms with cribs, kitchen tables with high chairs, back seats with car
seats and toilets with potty seats?
Those who perceive the world as fundamentally hostile and hopeless. You see the future of humanity depends on the
outlook of us today. Civilizations
continue or end when the majority of citizens either sign up for celebratory
joy and hope or survival mode minimalism due to perceived hostility.
Life is challenging and living it virtuously so as to respond
to God’s grace fruitfully is a life-long task.
But it is a worthwhile life project that makes sense when you have been
given a home from which to venture out of, not abandoned into a dangerous
peril-filled wilderness.
What do you think are other consequences of interpreting the
world as a threat-filled jungle versus a hospitable safe home?
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